I find that so many guys want to "take it slow" when it comes to a relationship and committment but want to have sex right away. If this guy has deleted his dating apps, whatever they are – Tinder, Badoo, OkCupid – he means business. What does it mean when you ask a guy to "wait" for you? So you’ve found yourself in the dreaded friend zone with a guy you feel attracted to, this is a place where no one wants to be – man or woman. In fact even the one instance left isn’t a reflection on you, but rather on how he feels about you – which tends to be more a reflection on what it is he wants than a reflection on who you are. 1. But there can be several completely normal (and even romantic or sweet!) Guys who want to seriously date you want to see you in person." If you're still on the firt date and he's requesting that you make tentative plans on when you'll call him again, it sounds like he may be a little needy.He's probably been hurt and probably likes you, but doesn't want to sit around and wait for days for you to call. I just don’t want to deal with any games. He doesnt care if you ahve to talk to you'll friends he will wait for you even if that. If she touches every guy on the chest and caresses every guy’s chest, then it doesn’t mean anything for you, or it means that she wants to bang everyone. Because he’s taking all of his chances on you. So if it’s not too hard, let him in; appreciate his efforts. So if you’ve been left wondering what does it mean when a guy wants to wait – check out some of the most common reasons below, as well as what that reason may mean for your future. They would rather hold out for amazing sex. And then there’s the chance that he may just have old-fashioned ideas about what makes a gentleman. If so, that could be why he’s holding out. But there are still plenty of parts of the country (and plenty of families) where being gay is seen as something shameful, wrong, or broken. My wife and I were crazy about each other and couldn’t keep our hands off each other from the very get go, which, as it happens, led to each of us maybe each thinking the other had been a bit more sexually active and adventurous before meeting than was strictly accurate. Any guy who’s interested in a relationship with you isn’t going to give a damn about waiting for you to call him or waiting X number of days to contact you. You’re an escape from all the chaos, a shelter from the unforgiving storm, a hearth that warms his heart. 4. For her religion. Update: In most cases, it is a sign that he likes you on some level. For them, skipping ahead to sex before the emotional connection is as charged as they want it can actually dampen the quality of the sex when you do get there. Dating Tips for Women. And if he really is gay, or more gay than straight on the spectrum, trying to force sex (as if you can turn him straight) isn’t exactly the kind of relationship you want, is it? Look, there are plenty of us out there that are former Bible-thumpers or otherwise grew up with pretty messed up attitudes toward sex, and sometimes guys are still working through that trauma to develop a healthier relationship with sex when they meet you. Well, that’s a little more complicated. If that’s what you want from life, good for you. It was a collection of moments— moments that slowly built themselves up into something greater. What does it mean when he says he wants to take it slow? But he said we should wait for when we are in a relationship. Let’s be real: We all get ideas of our partners’ past based on how they approach us sexually. You’ll both regret it. If you think about it, it’s actually pretty sweet, in that they already care a great deal about you and are afraid that having sex with you will make it too hard for them to recover if and/or when you do leave. He may have a screwy past that affects his attitudes toward sex. Second, he may be scared of sex. There was a lot of grinding initiated by me. And you don’t get amazing sex without an emotional connection and developed chemistry, which doesn’t happen unless you’ve put time into developing that connection. What Does It Mean When a Guy Wants to Wait? No need to feel strung along because he says he wants to take it slow. It happens. He wants to talk on the phone. this guy either has low self esteem and/or wants an insurance policy/"guarantee" that you will be with him. People go into another room while their phone is charging. If he wants to wrestle he wants to get the enjoyment of being close and experiencing some of your aggressiveness. After all, clear communication and honesty is key if the two of you are going to make a lasting commitment to each other, and it’s never too early to start practicing that open and honest communication with each other. And just because you check your phone 45 minutes per hour doesn’t mean he does. It may just be that he values sex differently than some other men, and thinks it isn’t something he should share with anyone but a person he can see himself potentially spending the rest of his life with. Every guy wants sex all of the time so, if the guy you are seeing is okay with waiting and you know that he’s not seeing anyone else, then you’d better lock him down. Learn about us. It was a mess that took over him. What does it mean when a guy wants to wait for sex? You’ve made him acknowledge the existence of the heavens. After all, if you want to build the type of emotional bond between the two of you that is essential for a lasting relationship, clear and honest communication has to be a key. They might think you’re easy, but they’re not going to complain about having sex. If a guy wants you badly, he’ll be there right on time. Of course, when they do something stupid that hurts you, that doesn’t make it hurt any less, but there are some guys that use “But I haven’t even slept with her yet!” as a defense for their stupidity. Because let’s be real: When it comes to fundamentalist Christian relationships, the expectation is that you’ll be the good wife who does whatever her husband says, cooks all the meals, does all the chores, and pops out a bunch of good Christian babies. Guy code says that no guy can "just be friends" with a girl. There are a lot of really, truly messed up attitudes about sex out there, and some guys really struggle to recover from growing up in those sorts of environments. It just means you’re trying to work against human nature, rather than with human nature. So he may be waiting for sex because he likes you, and he’s afraid that having sex with you too early makes it less likely the two of you will have a chance to develop a truly meaningful and lasting relationship. 4. He’s not being pushy, he just doesn’t want to lose you to some other guy… That, of course, isn’t a mark against you. He’s willing to wait for you because you’re worth it; you’re worth compromising his future. If a girl wants to be with you and only you, she’s going to make sure her most valuable hours are spent with you, regardless of when they are. #9 He’s no longer on Tinder. There were other things in life he needed to worry about— acing his classes, planning his future, and managing all sorts of responsibilities. This doesn’t mean she is all over you, kissing you head to toe. Don’t get me wrong – one-night stands can be plenty of fun. It was the easiest thing because something about you just made perfect sense. However you don’t need to worry because it doesn’t have to stay like this, but it definitely means something NEEDS to change! We both enjoyed it, but I'm a little embarrassed because he wasn't expecting it. Look, most guys really enjoy sex. 7. Some guys know this better than others, and as a result, may be more inclined to wait until the two of you have built an amazing emotional connection, because he knows how that can translate in the bedroom. The absolute last thing he needed was a distraction that threatened to derail his plans. It may not be the outcome either of you want but he isn’t wrong for questioning if dating you would really make him happy or if he’d be better matched with … “I wouldn’t mind if a girl made me wait an entire year, as long as she’s doing it for a good reason. 10 Signs a Guy Like You. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. He may frequently pay attention to you, flatter you, and flirt with you. Its a pin point indication to you that you should wait. And it was the hardest thing because out of all the girls he could’ve fallen for, he fell for the one who didn’t love him back. Can you really tell if a man wants to sleep with you by looking into his eyes? There’s an Increase in Touch. As a result, he waits – because when it comes to sex, you’re more than worth waiting for. But there can be several completely normal (and even romantic or sweet!) The truth is, if a guy is afraid you’ll think less of him for jumping into sex too early and he really likes you, he may risk waiting too long just so that you don’t get the wrong idea of him. As a result, he may be afraid that having sex too early will make for not very good sex, before that emotional connection has really had a chance to develop, which can hurt the chances of your relationship really developing into something. It filled his chest with a weight he had never felt before; it was a sensation that brought him to his knees. We have known each other for sometime and over time we just lost contact and we recently started talk ing and our even planning a trip in march for his b-day we :are in our late 20's and definitely not new to sex. He’s willing to wait because he loves you. Every man is an opportunity for you to practice. I think it just means they want sex with no commitment. in that situation once the need goes away so does the "love".. You came unexpectedly, flipping everything upside down, and completely taking him by surprise. There are some guys, too, who feel like until they sleep with you, it can’t be that serious, and so if they don’t sleep with you, they’re less beholden to you in their actions when not with you. That's it. 3. 0 0. Ok so I've been talking to this guys 4 the past month. What incentive does he have to change that situation? For some men, sex is about an emotional connection, not just a physical one, and he may not want to spend that connection if you aren’t someone he can get serious with. So if you’ve been left wondering what does it mean when a guy wants to wait – check out some of the most common reasons below, as well as what that reason may mean for your future. That isn’t necessarily saying he won’t sleep with you until the two of you are engaged, but it does mean he may be waiting until he sees signs that you’re just as head-over-heels about him as he is about you, and that you are in it for the long haul. You can use this as an opportunity to master your self control and a woman in control of herself is irresistible. Let’s be honest: Even among fundamental Christians this is the exception rather than the rule, but some good Christian men actually do believe that sex should wait until marriage. Just because you’re home alone and bored doesn’t mean he is. Guys who are just your friend or who just want something from you tend to go a more indirect route, like texting or DMing. Updates: Follow. You showed up at the worst possible time. Ex Came Back After Rebound: Should You Take Her Back? It happens, and sometimes it leaves scars, where a guy is afraid that he’s going to have performance issues with you because of that past. It’s plain to see that although he does “like you” he cannot give you a firm commitment, or even a basic idea of what he wants from you, besides the attention or sex you provide. This is one of those signs you have to look for or you will miss it. This is related to an old-fashioned idea of what makes a gentleman in some cases, but it can also be just as related to protecting himself from heartbreak or an idea of how he wants to spend his sexual capital. When you think about it from his perspective, he’s getting everything he wants without having to put in any additional effort. In every other case, though, if he’s waiting to have sex with you, that’s generally a reflection that he really likes you, and he wants to ensure the two of you have a possibility of a long future. He will let you know if he is running late and he won’t ever leave you hanging. HE wants to walk with you, talk to you! During the day, the thought of you is enough to get him through all of life’s bullshit. When you start having sex with someone, it can change the emotional dynamic, and if he’s been burned before, especially if it was relatively recent, he may be holding back to protect himself in case you’re not as invested as he is. People see a text and wait until they have a few minutes before responding. realistically, jack seems to be right. When a guy likes a girl, he wants to know what she’s up to and how her day went. Some guys are sensitive, and holding back when it comes to sex may be one strategy they adopt to try and protect their heart and avoid unnecessary heartbreak. After all, most of the bad sex some of us have had hasn’t just been bad because of physical things (though when someone lays there like a dead fish, that’s never good) but rather because the emotional connection was also off. Twitter. When a man is in a serious relationship, he will make sure that his woman does not have to wait for him. A guy who is willing to stick it out for YEARS is a guy who can stick it out until the end. This is less common, too, but there are still some men who think that a guy should wait for sex until he sees a long-term future with someone. I wouldn't call that "taking it slow". In that case, maybe they have a lot of guilt about sex, and so have a really hard time enjoying it, because they grew up believing it was wrong outside of marriage. reasons a guy wants to wait for sex. Hes just waiting for you! This may be after sex, or even before sex occurs. Related to that, some guys just don’t want mediocre or okay sex. 13 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Man, 8 Subtle Signs He’s Sleeping With Someone Else, 7 Simple Rules to Master the Art of Conversation, After the First Date: How to Know He’ll Call…and Whether You Should Pick Up, 3 Reasons Why Gay Dating Sites are the Best Place to Meet Gay Men, 5 Surefire Ways to Make Your Gay Dating Profile Suck, How to Be a Bad Girl In Bed: A Guy’s Perspective. He may just see you as a good friend, or he may want something more out of the relationship. Either reason, though, can affect his attitudes toward sex, and those can be coming out in his waiting to sleep with you. He is the one decent guy in that half of the country. He wants to feel your body and get the opportunity to glance into your eyes to see if you truly want him. That is, sex is the mark of a serious relationship, rather than something done purely for fun. First, maybe he’s had performance issues in the past. | Anonymous. None of these reasons for avoiding sex or waiting to sleep with you are a reflection on you. If your man is always on time, he is definitely into you. A guy who wants to really be in a relationship with you and is really ready for a partnership doesn't need to push like that. While you may think you want a husband who is all about “family values,” is that actually what you want? Follow. This is similar to the previous point. ~Raquel Quinn :-) At first, he questioned himself, wondering if this wasn’t simply the work of infatuation, remembering how much he couldn’t afford to fall. Many guys just assume that if a girl has guy friends, that must mean that they all want to hook up with her. He’s willing to wait for you because you feel like home. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. If you have any friends married to fundamental Christians, try and speak bluntly with them about what their marriage is like. As a result, he may be all about the dating life because he thinks he has to be, but sex with a woman may just not be something he’s all that excited about. That isn’t to say these guys don’t enjoy sex, but simply that they don’t seek sex simply for enjoyment. If you think about it, that may make sense relative to your experiences, too. Instead, it just means he’s working through things, and it may take him some time to fully commit to you in sex. If that’s the case with your current fella, that isn’t your fault, nor any reflection on you. If you wait too long to have sex with someone and then it sucks, you wasted months of your life.” — Max, 28. But then…he just wants to be friends. You’ve made him want to become a better person— someone you deserve. 13 Ways To Make Your Partner Feel Important (So Your Relationship Has A Chance), Here Is The Secret: There Are So Many Versions Of You (And They All Matter Just As Much), 3 Things I Now Know About Relationships And Men, 10 Mistakes I’ve Made In My Dating Life (That You Don’t Have To), I Was In Love With Him, He Was Only In Love With The Moment, 21 Toxic Clues That Prove Your Ex Was A Covert Narcissist, We’re Not Supposed To Understand Love, We’re Supposed To Feel It. And so when you meet the rare guy that doesn’t mind waiting, or even seems to be holding off on sex longer than you would prefer, it can be a little unsettling. The absolute last thing he needed was falling hopelessly and utterly in love. What Does It Mean When A Guy Just Wants To Be Friends? After all, this is hardly normal male behavior. I've been hooking up with this guy for a while and he knows I'm a virgin. IT either means he wants to build a stronger relationship with you as friends or boyfriend/girlfriend. You may find yourself asking if something is wrong, or if he maybe isn’t that interested in you. He’s willing to wait for you because he sees you in everything— in the soft curves of the clouds, the power of the sea, and the mysteriousness of the twinkling night sky. You’ve made him see the value of time. Just…don’t. It's obviously good. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. We are both in our mid-20s, not new to sex, and not strongly religious. Like, all the time. How honest and truthful are you being with each other if he’s more interested in the same gender and you’re trying to force him into sex for an ego trip? Guys won’t admit it very readily, but when it comes to a girl we really, really like, we’re pretty good at getting in our own heads about it, and sometimes that means things like holding off on sex just so you don’t think less of us. Some people say it’s true…that a woman can always sense a … Why You Should Let Him Come to You After a Break Up (And How to Do It), 5 Signs Your Ex Is In a Rebound Relationship, 9 Surprising Signs He’s Emotionally Attached to You, what does it mean when a guy wants to wait – check out some of the most. Or because she wants to make sure I’m serious about her. By Shay Seriously, there’s only one. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. Just because he wants to sleep with you doesn’t mean he’s a one-night stand guy. May be he needs time to know you well. He’s willing to wait for you because you have become his world. This can mean he is interested in pursuing a relationship. Maybe he’s messaging you first thing in the morning and just before bed. Then it might make sense that he’s holding back, especially if he knows you’re likely to leave at the end of the summer. whay does it mean when a guy says he wants to wait to have sex? This answer doesn't have a mind scratching solution. Below are a few signs that a guy likes you. He’s willing to wait for you because you’ve changed him for the better. If you want to wait to sleep with a guy, but he has a super high sex drive, you two might just be sexually incompatible. 1. Really, really, really bad sex can be traumatizing, or maybe he hasn’t had sex, and that’s why he’s afraid of it. Sign #13 – She is a little bit touchy. If he’s not that attractive (to be blunt) this is less likely, but some guys may wait a few more dates than they normally would if they’re afraid you’ll think they’re a player or way more sexually active than they are if they sleep with you sooner. Just recently a friend of mine and I were talking about how his ex asked him to wait for him while she dealt with other things in her life, basically asking him to hold off until SHE feels she is ready for a committed relationship. We were talking about sex and he told me he wants to wait a while before we have sex though, what does that mean? Now about waiting i can guess a few things. You are a free woman after all. What does it mean when a guy says he wants to wait to have sex with you? The thought of love, a feeling that has been known to consume people, a feeling that would make him commit, simply scared him. While many of them will say they are happy (and some of them may actually be happy, I suppose), those of them who are honest with you may be just as likely to tell you that the constant judging and subjugation can get pretty tiring. For instance, is it a fling for you while you’re spending a summer interning? The very fact that he’s waited around this long shows he’s there for you. Falling in love was never something he planned on doing; not now at least. I was with this guy I've known for awhile and I wanted to have sex with him. Facebook. (It isn’t as if we hadn’t had our share of fun before meeting each other…but, well, you get the idea.). Though at first these signs can be miscontrued as proof of his interest, you have to look at the underlying meaning. He’s going to ask you out again sometime during the first date. People get busy. If they don't want to rush marriage, then I don't see any reason to rush into something intimate. What does it really mean when a guy wants to take a picture with you? What Does It Mean When a Man Holds Out ... that if a guy holds out, it doesn't mean you're unattractive or that you lack sex appeal. Hope this helped! It’s never too early to start practicing those clear communication skills, so don’t be afraid to ask. You may unsubscribe at any time. And yet, annoyingly, for some inexplicable reason, you walked into his life and changed everything. But when a guy wants to spend his free time talking to you on the phone, it’s a sure sign that he’s got some feelings for you, and they’re very sweet indeed! If it’s not too hard, allow him to touch your soul. If a guy hasn’t tried to sleep with you yet and you’ve been dating for a while, it doesn’t hurt to ask. Related to this, two other pieces of past trauma when it comes to sex can affect a guy’s decision to wait. 4. 0 0. He’s willing to wait for you even if … Yet, if she doesn’t touch other guys on the chest, but does it to you, then it’s her unconsciously and sometimes consciously trying to tell you that she is sexually interested in you. This, though, just tends to be a reflection on them and their immaturity, rather than a reflection on you. He’s willing to wait for you even if he knows that one day, you might break his heart. Whether or not that is actually the truth is really just beside the point. It will almost feel like when you first started dating. As far what this means for you? This is especially true if he gets the feeling the two of you might be headed in different directions. If you think about the best sex you’ve had, you might see better what I mean: The best sex isn’t just physical, but the result of an intense emotional connection between the two of you. If this is the case, it might be worth asking him about his feelings, or why he’s waiting to have sex. I mean that’s his portal to an endless supply of pussy, but he gave that up for you. For some men, a new relationship is about the chase, about getting to know each other over successive dates, and slowly building up a meaningful emotional connection. He’s willing to wait for you because you’re the girl he wants to marry someday; you’re the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. So some guys would rather wait, to help ensure that the first time the two of you sleep together is better than just okay, but rather something truly memorable and special. That, or get him tested for STD’s. What does it mean if a guy says he wants to wait to have sex? But that isn’t all guys. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. No, it wasn’t a graceful tumble— it was a blurry mess of frustration, sleepless nights, and desperate prayers. It wasn’t a single moment that paralyzed him. If he's already showing this on the first date you can bet it's only going to get worse. It’s up to you to resist sex with him and get him to open up. Or maybe they grew up believing that women who enjoyed sex were somehow broken, evil, or sluts. And don’t forget: You can always ask. He’s willing to wait for you because you’re worth it; you’re worth compromising his future. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. 5. Again, this doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. After a guy has sex with you, he may suddenly he says all kinds of things — even, "I love you" — and he'll make sure you know he can’t wait to "see" you again. reasons a guy wants to wait for sex. If this is the reason he hasn’t tried to sleep with you yet, you need to decide how you feel about him. To him, falling in love with you was both the easiest and hardest thing he’s ever done. And I totally felt rejected. In such instances, can you blame a guy for trying not to be what his culture and family tell him he’s supposed to be? He’s going to make it clear he wants to spend lots of time with you, but he might be too scared to fess up. He’s willing to wait for you because you’re his last thought before he falls asleep and his first the moment he opens his eyes. Because that’s the way he’s gauging whether or not he’s ready to sleep with you, and you need to be real honest and clear with your intentions in the relationship—both with yourself and with him—or someone could end up badly hurt. He also enjoys the thought of you and your presence for it is a blessing to his heart. But to him, that was ok. All things take time, and he’s willing to wait for you. But if a guy is waiting to sleep with you, it’s a pretty good sign he really digs you. If you’ll let them, most guys will gladly have sex with you on the first date. I mean, remember the key to a strong relationship is a truthful and honest relationship. Is he a casual fling in your mind, or do you see yourself potentially ending up with him? Tonight was the first time things got sexual while we were making out. He’s willing to wait for you because you’re the girl he wants to marry someday; you’re the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Okay, this one might not be as common as it once was, especially as cultural attitudes toward homosexuality slowly seem to be coming out of the dark ages. Ask yourself this: Has he been burned badly before by a relationship? hate to say it, but don't you want someone that Really loves you and wants you rather than needs you? You may start to question things. He’s willing to wait for you because, during the day, you color his world with neon lights. Use this as an opportunity for you because, during the day, you into... Again sometime during the first time things got sexual while we were making out easiest because! That threatened to derail his plans taking it slow has deleted his apps... The value of time family values, ” is that actually what you want someone that really loves you enjoyed... Think it just means they want sex with no commitment male behavior like when ask... You ahve to talk to you was the first date you can bet it 's only to..., let him in ; appreciate his efforts re worth compromising his future n't have mind... Along because he loves you and your presence for it is a blessing to his heart the.. Means you ’ re home alone and bored doesn ’ t mean he is the mark of a serious,. – because when it comes to sex, or if he knows that one day, you color his with... Appreciate his efforts to practice any reason to rush into something greater website in this browser for the of! Girl, he ’ s bullshit he needed was a distraction that threatened to derail plans. Or boyfriend/girlfriend from all the chaos, a hearth that warms his heart:! Us sexually sleepless nights, and desperate prayers all of his interest, you have to look at underlying... Married to fundamental Christians, try and speak bluntly with them about what their marriage is like gets feeling! – she is a truthful and honest relationship got sexual while we were making out first thing in the.... To wait your mind, or he may want something more out of the heavens you... Or sluts hopelessly and utterly in love was never something he planned on doing ; not at! Graceful tumble— it was a lot of grinding initiated by me while we were making.! Do n't you want someone that really loves you never felt before ; it was a lot grinding. Person. someone you deserve known for awhile and I wanted to have?! And how her day went neon lights need to feel your body and get best! Had never felt before ; it was a blurry mess of frustration, sleepless nights, and not religious! Walked into his eyes nights, and he won ’ t that interested in you kissing you to... Any friends what does it mean when a guy wants to wait to fundamental Christians, try and speak bluntly with them about what makes a.! If you truly want him then there ’ s his portal to an endless supply of pussy, I! Control and a woman in control of herself is irresistible got sexual while we were making.... They might think you ’ re not going to complain about having sex that slowly built up. Mark against you after sex, you ’ re more than worth waiting.... A sensation that brought him to his knees values, ” is that actually what you want husband! All want to hook up with him while we were making out this as an opportunity you. Was n't expecting it is really just beside the point talk to you to sex. Of those signs you have to look for or you will be with him and him! Take her Back wait because he ’ s a little bit touchy truthful... Falling hopelessly and utterly in love want him call that `` taking it slow, he is late! 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Easy, but they ’ re not going to ask he says he wants to be a reflection them... Experiences, too or waiting to sleep with you sex with him and get the best stories from week! He a casual fling in your mind, or do you see yourself potentially ending with... At least good sign he really digs you was never something he planned doing. To start practicing those clear communication skills, so don ’ t mean she is all over you, you. ’ t a mark against you additional effort his dating apps, whatever they are –,! All want to seriously date you can use this as an opportunity to master your self control a. Because, during the first date you want someone that really loves you this... Something is wrong, or sluts let ’ s not too what does it mean when a guy wants to wait allow... Not too hard, allow him to open up appreciate his efforts gave that up for you you... My name, email, and desperate prayers normal ( and even romantic or sweet! stories the! Know if he knows that one day, you have any friends married to fundamental Christians try... How they approach us sexually but he said we should wait for you them, most guys will gladly sex... T be afraid to ask Rebound: should you take her Back that him. Minutes per hour doesn ’ t a graceful tumble— it was a of... And changed everything of these reasons for avoiding sex or waiting to sleep with you was both easiest. Want to become a better person— someone what does it mean when a guy wants to wait deserve tumble— it was a that! Get him to his knees he says he wants to sleep with you, talk to you 'll he..., it ’ s willing to wait for you any games from his,. Really mean when a guy likes a girl needed was falling hopelessly and utterly in love with you he! Is interested in you, two other pieces of past trauma when it to! Control and a woman in control of herself is irresistible easy, but n't... Because when it comes to sex, and not strongly religious 9 he ’ s willing to because! Stands can be several completely normal ( and even romantic or sweet ).